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Life and Death

Memorial day: My uncle calls me and he tells me that one of my best friend’s dad has passed away. Heart attack. He gives me the details. I wonder how much we are in control of. He was a very good Catholic. He loved his wife and kids. He was a financial success. Very humble. He knew pretty much everybody who mattered where he lived and also knew a lot about everything. This description sounds like an exaggeration but it is not. I cannot think of another older person who has impressed me that much. Now he is dead. What do I make of the death? What do I remember about him?

Live life without complaints. I don’t remember him complaining about anything even though there was a lot to complain about. Whether it was the weather which could have delayed his flight, or hectic life here in the USA (he was visiting at the time I met him), or the difficulty of walking because of the Stroke he had a few years ago. I can’t even remember him saying anything negative about anything. I am sure that there were days when he said negative stuff - but overall, he was a positive thinker/talker/person.

Live life without pretenses. He told his stories matter-of-factly. I am sure that if I was in his shoes, I could have told some of the stories as if I was more important than I really was, or that I was privy to some info that the listeners should feel privileged to get. Not him.

Do your best while you can. He passed on and nobody had to worry about finances to take care of the funeral expenses. He was an entrepreneur who was humble and lived comfortably. It appears from what I see in his children that they took after their father’s industry.

Cultivate good habits all your life. One thing that I remember about him, apart from his devotion to church, is that he worked quite a bit. Even when he had a stroke several years ago, he still travelled and worked. He passed away as he was about to leave for work. I consider work a good habit.

There is more to write about him. But that is all I can think of at this time. I will be meeting his son, my best friend, in an hour or so. I am not sure whether to tell him what I thought of his dad, or just chill as was the agreement with my other friends who are also going to see him.

(I drafted this email a little over week ago. My friend call me today and while we were talking, I remembered about the draft I had written. I asked him if it was okay for me to write about his dad on my blog. He told me that it was fine. That is why I am posting it today, June 6th, 2007)

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